I learned two lessons tonight. One of them may change my marriage for the better if I’m able to really let it sink in.
1. Things will break.
Yes, it was a sad night in our kitchen tonight.
One of the beer glasses I got for Wyatt for Christmas this year broke in the dishwasher and Hubs discovered it as he was unloading it tonight while I was making dinner.
I was devastated because it was the first item we’d really broken since being married. (We lasted almost a year with no broken glass…wow! Anyone who knows us knows that’s an accomplishment, being as we are both super clumsy.) We’ve been so careful with all of our new, nice things because we aren’t in a place financially to just run out and replace everything and anything all the time. We try to take the best care of our things as we can. And these glasses were special because they were a gift from me to him on our first Christmas together…
And now we only have 3 of them.
I didn’t cry. But I wanted to a little bit.
Hubs was quick to say it was fine and that it wasn’t a big deal. I toughened up and agreed.
Until I opened the fridge and saw this.
That’s a HUGE crack in our everyday pitcher that we love. And it happened while it was just sitting in the fridge. When I saw it and cried out in disbelief, Hubs was quick to come see what was the matter. He was shocked to see the ruined pitcher, and asked if there’d been an earthquake or something.
Why was all this stuff breaking now?
On a day when I’d been feeling salty and grumpy and discouraged and sad about needing a full time job and wanting to contribute more to our finances to help us be more secure as we buy this house and have more bills to deal with each month.
On a night we’d already bickered a few times, mostly because I was upset and struggling to not take out my frustration on Hubs.
But as I whined and complained and sulked over the broken pieces, Hubs so wisely pointed out that “Honey, things break.”
Which brings me to lesson two.
2. Just because things break or feel like they are breaking, doesn’t mean our marriage is broken.
We’re going to have hard times. We’re going to struggle with worries about finances and major decisions. It’s part of life. Me not having a “real” job right now can’t affect us to the point that we’re living in fear of the unknown. The truth is that we are getting by just fine and we are so excited to be able to buy this house that we love. We’re not in over our heads and if we keep saving and being frugal and sticking to our budget, we won’t get that way. We’ll be fine.
Better than fine.
I can’t let my career situation define me in a negative way right now. I am doing what I can and we are moving forward every day. My lack of a job, no matter what it feels like some days, doesn’t mean I’m broken.
And it certainly doesn’t mean we’re broken.
And unlike these glasses, we’re going to be fine.