Hubs and I are different.
A lot different.
I am a 50% rational and 50% emotional. Usually the rational part wins over, but when it’s time to be emotional, boy, do I get emotional!
Hubs is 80% rational and 20% emotional.*
This can make it hard to communicate.
Case in point?
Last night, about 11:15pm, laying in bed.
I was feeling overwhelmed about working and job hunting and house cleaning and moving and finding a house and…
Hubs was tired.
He knew it was fine for bed.
I knew it was time for bed, too, but the emotional part of my being won out.
I’ll admit there was some crying when Hubs wasn’t really supportive of my need to be cheered up and calmed down.
He was rational in that he said I already knew everything he would say to cheer me up. I knew that I knew all those things, too, but I was already too emotional to care about that stuff now.
(In my defense, I understand that I was still on antibiotics that make me feel super nauseous and that my body is trying to get better, so I know I wasn’t really myself.)
(In Hubs’ defense, he eventually understood that he was going to have to give in and just work me through my emotional-ness, no matter how much he tried to convince me to be rational.
So we had a bit of a fight and stayed up later than we should have.
And we managed to make up and wake up happy together.
Because we understand each other, even when we’re unhappy.
*Hubs approved all the percentages estimated in this post.
Been there, done that…many times! It still happens even after 28 years of marriage. Tell Hubs to get used to it…it gets worse with kids in the house!
I think we’ll get used to it eventually. We just need to remember when we’re overreacting and how to help calm each other down.
Oh boy, although I think those fights are good because it is yet another way you get to know each other. I’m glad that you also took into account the other stuff that might be affecting the fight and it’s all not just someone’s fault. 🙂
Yea, we are constantly learning! 🙂 And while it’s hard to think about those other causes during an argument, it certainly helps when we’re trying to make up after!
im the same as you, 50 and 50… my boyfriend on the other hand is 95% analytical/rational and 5% emotional – DEF A CHALLENGE !!!
I can be a challenge, but I also think it helps us work together and make up for each other’s weaknesses during a challenge. Even just recognizing the differences help, so you’re on the right track so far! Thanks for leaving a comment!