Right now, there’s a lot of unknowns in our life.
Where will we live?
Where will I work?
When will I find a job?
When will we move?
When will we have kids?
When will we get a house?
Will we have the time and money to travel this year?
How much should we spend on a house?
When will we visit home next?
Whose house will we stay at?
…
You get the idea., right?
Right.
It can be overwhelming.
This causes a couple of kinds of problems.
Sometimes, I get simply get overwhelmed and have mini-meltdowns… you know, tears and anger for no reason…
…much to Hubs’ dismay.
It’s unfair to him to expect him to know how to get me out of my funk, when even I know I don’t have any reason to be acting that way.
The other problem is that I tend to overplan…everything.
As in, I send Hubs an email at 4:30 with our “plan” for the rest of the night. And I need to know weekend plans a few weekends in advance. And I make to-do lists and to-don’t lists and lists of lists…
Ok, maybe not lists of lists, but I did make a “sublist” a few weeks ago because I had so much to do.
Anyway, Hubs gets frustrated at me for making plans of plans for plans of the plan…
And then we sometimes fight.
But I have a theory that all this over-planning for all the little things comes from my inability to plan any of this big stuff in our life right now. It doesn’t excuse my tendencies to want to plan our plans…but it does help explain it, at least a little bit.
Makes sense to me.
And Hubs is learning I don’t always mean to be a drag with our plans.
And he’s learning to go with my plans.
In the same way I’m learning to go…with his flow.
And trying to keep taking it just one thing at a time, one day at a time, knowing that things will work out…because we believe this:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:11-13
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” -John 14:27
What do you think? Does my plan planning make sense? How can I learn to let the little things go more easily when the big things are so unknown? Do you and your Hubs (or wife) disagree about things like this?
John is the same…he hates th e planning and the “details”. We usually just talk on Sunday about what the coming week has in store. I usually make most of the plans and just fill him in as needed. That seems to work the best. I am like you in that I need to know what will happen and when. Hang in there…Wyatt will get used to your way of planning and learn that it has it’s importance (especially when the kids arrive).
Yea, kids will bring a whole new set of planning problems…hopefully by then some of this big stuff will get worked out. Thanks!
It has only taken me almost 54 years, and meeting the second “love of my life, ” but I offer these words of wisdom (in Jerry’s words) “un-lax and re-wind.” (To you and me, the real application of this is as follows: Either trust God or don’t. It’s your choice to practice what you believe…or not.
I think I understand his advice…confusing as the words are! I know I just need to try and let go of the little details, and the big ones, but sometimes I just have trouble.
Thanks for the advice!
Keep on planning, it offers you a sense of control and order which you have needed to obtain your current station in life, no different than a favorite tool a mechanic may require to fix your car. Just the way you roll, because I know Hubs ain’t rolling that way.
You’re right, hubs isn’t rolling that way! But thanks for the support of my planning, anyway. Maybe i’ll convince him eventually!
Let go and let God. I tend to be the more anxious one in our marriage. One one hand I want to vent to my husband, on the other hand it doesn’t always help. Better to pray to God then overwhelm my husband!
go with the flow! everything will turn out fine.
Nutschell
http://www.thewritingnut.com
Happy A-Zing!
I hope so. Thanks for the encouragement that things out of my control will be what they are, though. And thanks for stopping by to leave a comment!
Oh Goodness. Reading this is like deja-vu! My husband and I are in the exact same situation. In fact I just had a mini-meltdown like you described the other day. It is so hard for us planners to let go and trust in His plan instead of making our own forced plan. We live 3 hours away from home now and my husband is in the middle of the interviewing process at several companies. I don’t know if we will even be living in the same city next month! That is soooo hard for me! I try to take it one day at a time now and just trust that God will give us the best plan in due time.
I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalms 32:8
Thanks for sharing! It’s hard to let go, but I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels like life feels a little crazy right now. I hope you all find some answers soon. Keep waiting patiently on God until then, and I’ll try to work on that too!
You remind me of my fiancé, he will plan his day down to the hour. It drives me nuts! Haha at least you provided a little insight into the mind of a planner 🙂
Well, people plan for different reasons, but I think this is one of the main reasons I plan…for sure! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Way to go! Some people never realize this truth!
Peach State
It’s been a journey, but we need to keep working on it. Thanks for the comment!