I think Wyatt has only had one or two nights of “good” sleep since we’ve been married. I’ve had more than that I’d say, but not many.

I mean, we like sleeping together, and we’re getting used to which positions make him snore more, keep my feet warmest, help his shoulder not hurt as bad, etc.

But overall, we wake up and roll around a lot. I’m sure part of it is that we each used to wake up and roll over a couple of times a night, but now we both wake up whenever the other wakes up, so we’re waking up twice as much as we used to.

And that’s just regular wake ups. Add in the ones where my neck gets cramped up or his shoulder starts to hurt and sometimes it seems we’re waking up more than we’re sleeping!

So in an attempt to solve this problem, we switched sides of the bed. Before we were married, I didn’t have a side of the bed, because I had always slept in a twin, and I slept on both sides, depending on my mood or whatever felt the most comfortable, so the whole bed was “my side.”

Wyatt used to lay acrossย the middle of his queen-size bed (go figure, right?) but his head was more to the left. Now, though, he’s been sleeping on the right side of the bed. That’s the side his dresser is on, so he says it makes more sense. I agree, but I don’t think it would be that bad of a deal if he had to walk around the bed to get his socks every morning. He gets up and goes to the shower first anyway, so it isn’t like he gets his things on the way by when he first gets out of bed and then never goes back over there…whatever, I digress.

Anyway, like I said before, we switched sides for one night. (Spoiler alert: it didn’t help.)

To start out, it took us even longer than usual to get calmed down, settled in, and comfortable than it usually does, I assume because we’ve already gotten used to the other sides. Plus, this position made me be the “big spoon” and I don’t like to be the big spoon. The reason it’s so great to be the small spoon is because Wyatt is like a personal heater and he keeps my back and neck all warm and toasty. So, while I’m willing to hug him every now and then (or even finish sleeping that way in the morning) I like to exercise my right as the woman (though I’m not that much “smaller” than Wyatt) to be the small spoon, which this switching arrangement did not allow me to be. And once we were finally asleep, we woke up the exact same amount I’d say, if not more.

So I don’t think we’ll be trying that again, at least not for the purpose of sleeping better. Maybe if we feel our lives are getting a little dull and we need to shake things up, but overall, I’d say it wasn’t a success.

Does this mean we’ve “switched” sides of the bed, or rather that Wyatt has? If so, that’s interesting, because I didn’t know that was possible. I thought it was a once a right-sider, always a right-sider sort of thing.

Does this mean that we’re three months into marriage and still not used to sleeping together? Maybe.

And I guess that’s ok, because we like going to bed together, and waking up together, it’s just the part in the middle that we seem to be having trouble with.

And don’t even get me started on the things he says in his sleep. Sometimes I’m stuck lying awake at night just trying not to laugh! Unfortunately, usually I’m so sleepy, too, that I don’t remember the details to share with you guys the next morning. Maybe I should keep a notepad by the bed to write them down in the night like some people do with their dreams.

He might not like that so much…but it’d sure make a great read for you!

Anyway, I’m heading to bed, wish me luck!

7 Thoughts on “Whose side of the bed is it anyway?”

  • Oh my gosh! Until I read your post I had totally forgotten how much trouble I had sleeping the first almost YEAR of marriage. He never has trouble. I did for months and months. People would look and me and wonder why I looked so tired. I just wasn’t sleeping. I think it takes a good year to figure out some of the details that lead to a good night’s sleep for both of us. We are about to celebrate our 2nd anniversary and it’s much better. I still have trouble getting to sleep, but now he knows how to help me with that (sleepy-time tea before bed, rubbing my back and spooning).

    BTW – Your “big spoon” comment made me laugh out loud. Never thought of it that way, but it’s so true.There’s a big and little spoon in the “spooning” – I wouldn’t like to be the big spoon either. I hope you guys figure it out.

    • Thanks! Wyatt calls it the big and little spoons, and it made sense to me so I kept it. And thanks for the advice and encouragement. Neither of us is ready to head to the couch, so we’ll just keep trying to figure this out! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • Loved your post, wait until you have been married 15 years, have 2 dogs and 2 cats and 1 kid that all want to share the bed, even our king size wasn’t enough, oh and just so you know, the man always gets the smallest part of the bed ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Haha, you said we were similar, but wow, we are similar! My husband and I have been sleeping in the same bed for almost a year, and we are STILL waking up at least 4 times a night. The other night, he would just slowly scratch his arm.. back and forth, back and forth.. I almost went insane! I woke him up, and was like “Stop scratching!!”. He was oblivious to all of this and didn’t even know he was doing it! We also switched sides too! It kinda worked for us.. meaning, now we wake up about half as less times. Also, my husband talks and groans in his sleep too! I might resort to one of the suggestions about the sleepy tea soon!.. or I could just be a zombie for Halloween. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I know! My hubs doesn’t usually talk in his sleep, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he usually has something to say that has absolutely no sense or meaning to it. Ah well, we’ll get used to it soon, I hope!

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