This morning I did NOT want to get out of bed.

I suspect these reasons as to why.

1. It was cold in our apartment and warm in the bed. You do the math.

2. It’s Monday morning and I have a mountain of weekend laundry to do.

3. I have 2 suitcases, 1 little bag, 2 big bags, 1 crate, and 1 box of stuff to put away or figure out what to do with that we brought back with us.

4. I have a slight nagging headache right above my eyes.

Or, the real reason I suspect…

5. We’d been away from home for 4 nights, and there’s no place like your own bed to curl up and get a good night’s sleep. Yes, we’re still sometimes having trouble sleeping together. And yes, I always sleep well in my parents’ house because it will always be my first home.

But there’s something so great about your own bed.

This bed frame is borrowed from a family member, and we're very thankful.

True, this was Wyatt’s bed (mattress) before it was mine, and someday we’ll have a different one when it’s time to replace it. But I’m sure that future bed will feel the same way. It’s familiar and comforting, and it’s shared, which makes all the difference, doesn’t it?

I’ll admit I used to roll my eyes at my parents when they’d say how much they missed their bed on vacation. I figured it was because they were older and had aches and pains when they had to sleep in a different bed. Now, I’m sure that’s true, because we’ve experienced some of that, but I think it’s more than that. I think it’s because they’re married.

Sharing a bed with someone is such an intimate thing. And I don’t just mean because of the sexy activities that go on there. I mean the kind of intimacy that comes from being vulnerable, real, raw, and honest with someone.

Think about it. When you’re sleeping, you’re basically defenseless. No one sleeps well with something they don’t trust because you can never fully relax. And when you go to bed, usually you’re wearing some sort of comfortable clothing, and usually, nothing that ads to your physical features in a flattering way. Makeup is washed off, hair is a mess, and there’s no pretending or dressing up. Also, when you’re sleeping, you don’t have total control over your own body. Sometimes noises happen: snoring, sighing, sleep talking…or other noises that might also have accompanying smells.

Some might say that sleeping is the only time we’re really ourselves. And who else can you be yourself with if not your spouse?

Plus, we all have those little patterns and routines we go through when we’re getting ready for bed. Being away from home disrupts those.

And what about the way that absence tends to make the heart grow fonder? If you never leave home, you’ll never know how great you have it with your own bed. Sure, we love the fact that our queen-sized bed has enough room for us to roll around and our feet don’t hang off the end at all, but until we spend 4 nights in a full-sized bed, we forget how great those extra few inches are.

I’m also talking about the sweet little moments that happen before we fall asleep. Whispered “I love you’s,” talking about our day, the next day, telling each other a funny dream we’ve had, putting my freezing cold feet on Wyatt’s legs to warm up my toes, snuggling, cuddling, and even praying together before we roll over to fall asleep.

Can we do all those things in another bed? Sure. Do we? Sometimes. But is it ever the same as being at home?

Of course not.

And for that reason, I think we’ll celebrate being at home tonight by staying in and going to bed early. The crazy holiday season is coming. I recommend you take some time to yourself and rediscover your love for your bed, and for bedtime.

On the shelves in our bedroom. Yes, I've been known to frame product packaging (left) and magazine advertisements (center) that I like. And the gift I made and gave my bridesmaids on the right.

But the message is still the same.

Very insightful, I know. You can take the meaning to mean what you will. I think it has all sorts of applications.

But if nothing else, at least take this suggestion instead.

The mirror we made. Kissing goodnight is better than saying it. Of course.

5 Thoughts on “Thoughts on bed and bedtime…”

  • Aww! Your room looks great! I know how you feel about waking up this morning. My weekend was fantastic, the in-laws came in for Thanksgiving, and we had a blast. Then, Monday morning rolls around and I have to crawl out of my warm bed for work at 6:45. Ugh. Can’t wait for Christmas! lol 🙂

  • Loved this topic and related to so much of it. We were at my in-laws for Thanksgiving and while we slept in a very comfortable full-sized bed, after almost a week in it when we’re used to a king we were both so ready to come home to the comfort of OUR bed! We don’t even use the whole king bed (well, except maybe in length since the Husband is over 6 feet tall!) but having the space, and our nightly routine of smooches and snuggles in the comfort of home makes all the difference.

  • I love the “always kiss me goodnight”- we also have those words above our bed. And we’ve lived those words every night for the last 7+ years. Some days when you don’t go to bed with all those lovey, cozy feelings towards your spouse, the kiss reminding each other that you’re still choosing each other and still committed will get you through. And so far we’ve survived the military, deployments, 5 moves in 7 years, 3 kids in less than 4 years… and it certainly seems to be working for us!

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