“I”ntentional

By | April 10, 2012

Hubs and I don’t like to fight.

We don’t thrive on the drama.

We don’t enjoy feeling angry or upset.

But that doesn’t mean we’re always intentional like we should be.

Let me put it this way:

just because we aren’t intentional about picking fights with one another doesn’t mean we don’t have to be  intentional about trying to avoid it prevent them.

Here’s an example.

Last night was a grumpy one for me. I’m feeling a little sick and trying to fight it off but I was tired and feeling a little overwhelmed by some big decisions in our life right now.

So I reacted poorly when Hubs sat on the couch playing on his computer while I put away three loads worth of laundry.

I didn’t mean to get angry…but that felt justified so I didn’t stop it. Then I said something negative, got huffy, and went to bed.

He reacted negatively to this, defending his actions by citing times he feels I ignore him when I’m on my computer.

And then we were fighting…right before bed…which is the worst time to fight.

If we had been more intentional about the incident, the fight could have been avoided.

I could have asked for help with the laundry instead of silently allowing myself to get more and more upset…when I knew he had no idea I was angry.

He could have called me on my negativity when I snapped at him instead of casually throwing out incidents in our conversion that felt like attacks to me in my already agitated mindset.

We’re still learning, but we’ll try to work on this more.

There are other aspects where being intentional is important too but this is enough for one night.

What about you? What things are you intentional about? What should you be more intentional about?

6 thoughts on ““I”ntentional

  1. Debi Walter

    What an honest glimpse into your life and struggles as a newly married couple. I just found your blog and wanted to stop by and say “Welcome!” Your writing is excellent, and your personality sparkles in each post. I love the Alphabet Blogging idea – we offer an Alphabet Date night series where you have 26 dates over the course of however long you want it to go. They can be date nights out, or date nights in, but most of all they’re for creating fun and intimacy in marriage.
    It’s nice to meet you!
    Debi
    http://theromanticvineyard.com

    Reply
    1. melissashipman Post author

      Thanks! I enjoy using this blog to connect with others and work through struggles and joys in our marriage. Plus, I enjoy sharing these things with family, friends, and followers I’ve “met” because I like the sense of community! Your blog sounds like a great idea, I’ll have to check it out! Thanks for stopping my and leaving a comment!

      Reply
  2. Dianna Fielding

    Fighting is always such a downer. 🙁

    I will take these thoughts into consideration in the future, though. Good luck with the challenge!

    Dianna Fielding
    Sociologyfornerds.com

    Reply
    1. melissashipman Post author

      Fighting is a downer! But luckily, we’re blessed to ask forgiveness and learn how to best make things right every time, which keeps us learning and brings us closer each time. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

      Reply
  3. transitionalwoman1

    I am intentional about not dwelling on my husband’s faults. When I have in the past, it’s led my down an ugly road. I just keep reminding myself that I’m not perfect either.

    Reply
    1. melissashipman Post author

      Very true! It’s easy to let ourselves focus on negative things, but that goes back to the idea of “setting our minds on things above, not earthly things.” Good for you in this goal, and good luck!
      Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comment!

      Reply

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