From newlyweds to the rest of our lives

By | August 1, 2012

First of all, did you all see yesterday’s post? I’m trying to work on some new ideas for the blog and really want some input for you. Please take a minute to leave me a comment and give me some feedback on what sort of posts you like most and what is your favorite things about this blog.

Next, I wanted to focus a little bit today on how I’ve been feeling about our marriage recently, as we transition into this second year of marriage.

1. I am so blessed by this husband of mine. He is wiser than I ever thought him to be, stronger than I’d seen him be, smarter, sweeter, and sexier than I could have ever imagined when I first fell head over heels in love with him at 16 years old. I know he’s going to continue to surprise me with his goodness as we transition from our family of two to having kids, grandkids, and more.

2. I’m surprised by how little we fight about anything serious. It seems the only things we bicker about are small, silly, and totally unimportant details. When we’re really faced with a scary circumstance, difficult life choice, or major struggle, we’re truly able to be helpmates for each other, and that makes up for all the little lovers’ spats that may take place on any given normal night.

3. I don’t feel the need to be with him all the time, but I certainly feel the desire. Don’t get me wrong, he sometimes enjoys going to play poker with some guys from work, and I enjoy having a girls’ night with my friends from back home, but overall, given the choice of socializing or relaxing with or without him, I’d choose to have him near me every time. And that’s not something I think will chance in the future, as I enjoy his company more now than ever before. And yes, I can function without him, but if I don’t have to, I won’t. But this is something I realize has nothing to do with us being newlyweds. It’s about being in love, and being married to my very best friend.

4. Me not having a job where I work from 8 to 5 every day is a HUGE blessing. Yes, I’ve spent a huge amount of time belly-aching about not having a “real” job, but you know what? I’m growing used to the fact that this is my real job for this season of life. Sure, I don’t work full time doing this, but I enjoy the work and I get to do different things every day, and talk to a lot of people, and learn about lots of things I never knew about before. But mostly, I’m writing, which is what I think I’m meant to do. At least for now. And it’s given me so much time to help with stuff for the house. Someone needs to be there to let the carpet cleaning guy in and pay him after he’s finished? I can do it. Someone needs to go to the mechanic? That’s my job. The UPS store to return our equipment? Paint all the walls and trim in our house? Organize and clean everything? Yup, I can do all those things too. And how much of a blessing is it that either Hubs nor myself is having to take precious vacation time to be there for all this stuff? I’d say it’s huge. And for now, I’m content to write part- time and be a full-time wife to the man I love.

5. Sleeping together is still a challenge sometimes, but we’re totally settling into our preferred “sleeping positions” (as Hubs calls them), and snuggling positions, which I prefer we spend a few minutes in pre-sleeping time. Neither of us has suffered any major bruises because of bumps in the night, and I am learning to question with caution if I hear him saying something in the middle of the night, because he gets a little crabby when I ask questions after hearing his sleep-talking mumbles.

6. Holding hands is so important. Even just a few seconds walking into the store from the car are an opportunity to connect and share a sweet moment. I love that we both know to reach for the other at the perfect moment. It’s part of our routine now, something that hasn’t changed since we were first dating and that I know will continue into the future.

What about you? What are you learning about your spouse in your marriage? I know it’s something, so share!

 

4 thoughts on “From newlyweds to the rest of our lives

  1. 4elizabeth

    I feel sometimes that being so recently married I haven’t learned anything “new” about Matt yet that wasn’t somewhat aware of before – for example, in recent weeks we’ve both had some grumpy or miserable days, and we’ve talked about things that make us feel that way and how we (well, mostly I) need to work harder on having a positive attitude. But one great thing that’s happened recently is that Matt’s been reading this book I wanted to share with him for a while. A week ago he was getting very tired at night and falling asleep before he could read very far. But this week, he’s been less tired and has been wanting to read SO MUCH to find out what happens. He said he loves the book! We read for almost 3 hours one night together when he’d had a rough day and wanted to relax, and then I woke up to find him reading! I knew he enjoyed reading, but it has made me really, really happy to see him loving a book I love so much! And snuggling and reading in bed has made for a really nice relaxing week. I know that’s not really “learning” a lot, but it’s something recent that made me happy to see, anyway.

    Reply
    1. melissashipman Post author

      Awesome! I think it doesn’t matter if we’re learning little things, like sharing new interests, or big ones, like how to resolve conflicts in the way the other needs, we’re still moving forward, which is good. I’m glad you guys are so enjoying your early married days! It’s such a great time! And I LOVE your home!

      Reply
  2. lifewithacrazypup

    What a great reflection! I’m learning that my husband is trying really hard to work on his patience. He’s less snappy and more understanding than even a year ago. Making progress!

    Reply
    1. melissashipman Post author

      That’s great! And something we could all probably work on. Thanks so much for sharing, and best of luck as you continue to grow in your marriage!

      Reply

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